London Calling

I’m staying at a hotel called the Park Plaza Riverbank on the Albert Embankment. It’s not near the Thames, it is on it. I’m just down the street from the Vauxhall underground station and just west of the Lambeth Bridge. I walk out the front door and have a view across the river of Victoria Tower, the Houses of Parliament and the Elizabeth Tower, better known as “Big Ben.”*

In terms of accommodations, I freakin’ nailed this one.

So, as you are likely aware, I flew to Heathrow on Wednesday. Got from the airport via the Heathrow Express to Paddington Station, then grabbed a black cab to the hotel. (The cab cost me £15, about $24, but saved me from a coronary event wrestling with my luggage.) By the time I settled into my room, it was early afternoon. I haven’t stopped moving since then.

I’m not going to admit to being intimidated by London. I wasn’t. Really, like Frank once sang about New York, “If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.” And there hasn’t been a moment since I landed that I’ve felt any sense of fear or trepidation.

The only thing I’ve felt is a sense of wonder. And amazement. And awe.

First off, let’s debunk two myths: 1.) The beer is cold. 2.) The people are warm. You may have heard just the opposite, but it’s bullshit. (Then again, if you act like an ass and start shooting your mouth off about the outcome of the Revolutionary War, there might be something warm in your glass and it won’t be beer.)

Second, this city has been kicking ass since the 10th century.

Let’s put that in perspective.

The Jamestown colony in Virginia? “Old” is 1607. Boston? “Old” is maybe late 16th/early 17th century. Tampa? “Old” is something built in the 1920s.

If your impression of the British is that they simply don’t “get” us, it’s because they have been doing civilization for so long, we just seem silly. This coming from a country that still reveres Benny Hill.

Thirdly, Piccadilly Circus has never had anything to do with elephants, clowns and trapeze artists. It’s a traffic circle. Circus is Latin for “round.” Read a book.

Oh, and when I said the Irish like to use the “C” word (it rhymes with “bunt”)? Ah…upon further review, I think it’s actually a UK thing. But the fact I’ve been able to determine that should also tell you that I haven’t been sitting in my hotel room watching TV.

I can’t wait to fill you in on the details. But it’s late. My ride will be here in a few hours to take me to the boat. And I need to finish re-packing.

I have no idea what tomorrow will bring or when I’ll have wi-fi or cell service again.

I’ll miss London.

*”Big Ben” was the nickname given to the clock’s bell which was installed in 1859 by a guy named Benjamin Hall who was allegedly as wide as he was tall.